The views expressed are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Schizophrenia Society of Ontario or www.schizophrenia.on.ca. The Schizophrenia Society of Ontario is not responsible for the content or views expressed on external sites. Distribution, transmission or republication of any material is strictly prohibited without the prior written permission of the Schizophrenia Society of Ontario.
Jungle Law
Written by Administrator
Wednesday, 04 May 2011 09:14
By Neil Howard
Like a feeble turtle We humans who value humility Are pounced on by panthers Who seek innocent prey, Better to be a kingly lion than A helpless gazelle Who jumps frantically from The jaws of hunger, Wisdom is last in the race Beaten by youth’s purity And naivety, Yet age brings cynicism And corruption, We learn to lie and cheat, Honor is the casualty of survival, Man must quell the primal forces Which corrupt the soul And poison the mind Leaving emptiness and guilt, Life’s journey toward power and love Leaves a trail of beaten foes And broken hearts, We don’t all reach the ladder’s peak Hanging strong to the bottom rung For its lower security, If we find happiness and peace We are in Shangri-La, There is no bliss Pain is partial to no one The devil wins another soul Still, joy is our eternal quest, ebbing and flowing Like the dance of the Northern lights, If we find truth and love, We have an ephemeral chance To advance the evolution of Man Proving that he is above the serpent’s Evil guile
In support of the "Put Food in the Budget" campaign, I have committed to spending three days eating only items from a typical food bank hamper. For more details on this provincial challenge, click here.
This initiative is calling for the $100 Healthy Food Supplement to the basic needs allowance for all adults receiving social assistance. Did you know more than 80 per cent of people living with Schizophrenia in Ontario rely on the Ontario Disability Support Program? They have to eat this way each and every day – so I figured I could handle a week.
It’s one day in and I’m already struggling. It’s amazing how much of my energy it takes thinking how I can stretch out my tiny basket of food. I’m so worried about running out. After a dinner of canned pumpkin and an egg, I found myself thinking: what if I get hungrier in the week? Then what?
The poor quality of the food – no fresh fruit and vegetables and canned products loaded with sodium -- left me sluggish and bloated. I feel like I no longer have control of my health or my life.
The social isolation was something I wasn’t expecting. Now when I watch other people eat I feel like an outsider looking in, like I’m not part of the community. How can people with schizophrenia cope with all this? We live in society that stigmatizes mental illness, so people already feel like they don’t belong.
By the end of the day I was edgy and angry. I really can't imagine spending an entire life living like this.
This comment is not strictly related to schizophrenia, but to the stigma attached to mental illness in general. As a regular listener to the BBC Worldservice, this morning I heard an announcement from Germany that yesterday a famous soccer player died by suicide. The European soccer world is in shock as it now appears that the player had severe depression and said in a note that he couldn't continue. The BBC interviewer was discussing the incident with a sports psychologist and talked about the tremendous pressure that goes with playing any sport at an international level. An tragic situation.
The interviewer questioned whether or not the athlete should have just "given up" and not played soccer. Twice, the phrase "given up" was used . This is a classic example of the stigma and ignorance those with mental illness face. "Giving up" connotes failure and a lack of will.
When other athletes have an illness or injury which affects their ability to play, the situation is accommodated and supported through physical therapy, medication and/or an adjusted play schedule. There isn't the same suggestion that the athlete with a bad knee just "give up" on their sport.
This kind of interview does nothing to help people see mental illness in the same light as other illnesses. What is particularly upsetting is that millions of people around the world listen to the BBC and this morning have had the societal message that mental illness is an issue of will and personal strength reinforced. SEM
Whisper of sorrow in azure sky Gently bids the clouds to die Billows crashing staunch and cruel Imply the sand is just a fool
Sudden squalls of callous clatter Vex my mind until it scatters Misty drops cascading down Revealing but a hapless clown
Rocky granite’s erupting fury Inflames my mind annealed with worry Mutant motions bending ground Shift my space and twist my sound
Sweltry ozone fierce as fire Condemns my busy bones to tire Rush of hail from heaven’s vent Destroys the calm from where it’s sent
Powder gems of average note Crack the lips and parch the throat Temperate ramblings sad and droll Indulge the mind and ease the soul
As Winter’s chill subsides for Spring The robin greets its cue to sing A knot secures my battered rope My heart yet anchored deep in hope
Renewed By Neil Howard
My eroded ego creates A murky consciousness; Voices stab the brain Robbing me of inner peace; Writing is my salvation; My words and music Denote my creativity Is alive; Years of slumber My face in a pillow Unable to move; I now rise with the sun And not in moonlight; I do now What was once impossible; It torments when side effects Take their toll; Perseverance is the armor Of the survivor; It’s never perfect; Doom can creep in again And bed not the world Becomes my domain; A song, a friend, my pet Can help rebuild my mood And I resume life; It’s a cycle of ups and downs And little gains each day; My life is renewed As sure as buds blossom into fruit And flowers exult in Spring
